“Silence” - August 2nd 2023

Somewhere in between this past Friday & now I have lost my voice.

No sickness or illness to be treated, rather an overwhelming sense of quiet emanating from within me.

It has been an interesting few days,… you may look at me like I’m crazy, but I have begun to see the world differently for a time.

When you’re not able to participate in situations or conversations one tends to remain quite and not engage - this has given me the worthy time to observe.

A time of observation, watching the world move around you. I think my head has spun in every which way, every which direction since Saturday.

I turn to hear every bird; which coincidentally always seem to chirp over and behind my right ear, watch every vehicle as they drive from the left side of my vision to my right, or turn my head to the left to pick up rod bits of small conversations as people walk past.

All in an assessment to visualise where I am in the world at the present time.

They say when you loose one sense, another gets more powerful - and I myself, have found that to be true. Your hearing greatly improves - just as your eyes. Your eyes, zeroing in, your pupils; ping pong-ing back and forth, desperately trying to zoom in on where the noise exactly came from.

One never thinks about the eyes.

And for the first time, in a long time, - it’s quiet in my brain, I am alone in my thoughts. Perhaps, it’s because I’m not thinking of what I am going to say next.

For the first time, in a long time, I am a lone. And I quite enjoy it. I’ve been able to write in these past few days, a talent I have not used in quite some time due to the amount of never ending noise in my head. I’ve written three papers in two days. I’m quite proud of myself.

I’ve been able to think about YOU again. :) I’ve missed you. I’ve missed your smile. I can hear your laugh ringing throughout my ears. I can imagine your touch, your hug - as you do, from behind, the way you rest your head on people’s shoulders and lay your face against theirs.

I’ve missed you,

You make me feel whole again.

:) hi.

It’s good to have you back.

Calm: to have your thoughts back in my dreams. It’s calm to have quiet.

A reset button, for just a few days, until I can get my feet back on the ground. Until, I can find my footing. .. or perhaps, maybe, at-least, just one foot back on the ground. I was never one for being normal anyways. I always do prefer a slight chaos. :)